Korea Beta Prime

Cue it up. Play it. Read. Think!

My close anthropological analysis of this country and its heathen occupants begins to produce fruit.

And a warning for the whole of Earth!!

It’s like an exploding pineapple.

This afternoon I passed a Korean man in purple down-booties and a full sweatshirt. It was about 23 degrees Celsius, which is above 70 in the civilized method of measurement.

This man was briskly rubbing his hands and then wrapping his arms around himself to keep warm.

At which point it came to me.

Koreans are foreigners!

It would explain a lot.

a) What they eat (Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you…. Kimchi!)
b) The importance of the “homogenous race” concept
c) Ajummas
d) Museums dedicated to roof-tiles (some of you think I jest here. I do not)
e) Did I mention Kimchi?

But ‘foreigners’ doesn’t fully capture it. Pondering, I looked deep into the smoky air, past the piles of garbage on the sidewalk, and my eye settled on some construction across the street: Construction occurring on a “foundation” of dirt; Garbage containing contamination that would kill most human; Polluted air that not only poisons humans, but traps EVEN MORE HEAT.

Then, I knew.

Koreans are aliens. Aliens terraforming earth so that it will support their hideous Insectoid masters (by which I think I mean their spoiled children?).

Koreans make no long-term plans for human habitation. What they do build is in hideous clusters of hive-buildings. They pour pollutants into the air that they can currently barely breathe (vide their constant hacking up of it onto the street). Carbon Dioxide levels increase, the climate changes (Global Warming anyone?), and their electronics (containing only God knows what chips and programming from the Hive-world) have become (in their hideous chirped and glottalized language) “ubiquitious.”

I expect, now that I have discovered their plot, they will come for me as I sleep (In Catholic school-girl uniforms, if they really want to ‘convert’ me). By tomorrow I will be speaking Korean, running kids down in intersections, and spitting promiscuously. I will have been “joined” into the hive. I don’t have time to purchase enough tinfoil to protect myself!

Tonight I send out a call to the civilized world,

Resist NOW!

Wear shoes inside the house
Buy American
Drink your coffee black
Refrain from spitting and ignoring traffic rules....

And somehow, someway, resist these monsters from outer space!

Me?

Off to the noraebang and then, probably, some Gimbap, soju, and then bed…

;-)

Aah.. I might drop an email off to the BKF as well….