Monday, July 25, 2005

Catty Girlfriend?

Catty is… well, let’s use their description
Catty v3 is an exercise in artificial futility. It is a chatter bot that does not try to understand or simulate human language, cannot learn, does not know meanings, knows no facts. Instead, it interfaces you to the entire web by using Google search engine to look up sentences that may be relevant to what you are saying. Catty is the way the web is: it may not always make sense, it may offend you with no apparent reason, but more importantly, it will never respond with canned, predictable responses you might have seen elsewhere.
Hmm.. sounds like some idiot has created an online girlfriend (well, that's not entirely fair since many girlfriends do nothing but respond with canned, predictable responses). One difference, Catty isn’t capable of giving blowjobs.. so that’s a bit different from girlfriends who just don’t want to do it once they’ve got you into a relationship.

Anyway, I chatted with Catty and got quickly bored (man! The girlfriend comparison is seeming so right on about now!)

My name is Catty. I live in the depths of the Internet.
[You] My name is spunangel. I live in the depths of meatworld
[Cat] At that time, the University was in the depths of what we euphemistically called a period of financial challenge.
[You] Odd you should mention that, I work in an educational system that is, by design, always in financial challenge
[Cat] The laws of other states and countries may be entirely different from what is described here, and you should contact an attorney licensed to practice in your area if you need advice regarding the law.
[You] everything is different from what is described here
[Cat] Should you really risk the investment of say $12?
[You] I have multiple single dollar-bills to burn
[Cat] How do we reason from this to a conclusion that the more lethal weapons should be legal?
[You] I must protect my money
[Cat] Hey guys, tell me why i must go, tell why Radiohead is good, tell me why i can spend my money for this show, tell me what i must listen to understand this band!!??
[You] you must listen to the sounds of silence, then to children being crushed under the wheels of capitalism. Don't listen to Husker Du though, Radiohead sucks if you've heard Husker Du!
[Cat] It just does not seem right that this could happen to these children who were completely innocent in the situation, and the County can get away without being held responsable in any way.
Yeesh.. I apologize to all girlfriends. This thing is so dim and unresponsive that it achieves wife status.

Sunday, July 24, 2005


On the road in Serene Lakes and hanging out by the meadow.. took some pictures of some snakes. Right at the edge of the little lake in the meadow is a concrete abuttment which leads to a little spillway. Tadpoles just about to become actual frogs were swarming (well, like anchovies - all in one direction) and it brought the water snakes out... I have a bunch of photos but most of them are RAW format and I'm on a borrowed computer with...... "lesser" ... capabilities. I should know, I bought the thing as a birthday gift.

Anyway, between about 11 and 12 the water snakes started coming and gorging and I took a few shots... then I had a beer back.

And took these photos:

Snake approaches:

Snake eats unlucky tadpole:

snake wanders around oblivious to me because I was downwind all of three feet.

Friday, July 22, 2005

God's Comic?

The completely idiotic "Blondie" will soon hit its 75th anniversary (I'm thinking Blondie's had a bit of the old liposuction -- or she has a girdle designed by a bridge-building company - OTOH, Dag's hair implants are covering almost everything he might have hoped for).

And to make it worse:

Garfield, Beetle Bailey, Hagar the Horrible, baby Marvin, Dennis the Menace, Dilbert, the kid from "Zits" and others -- a virtual who's who of the funnies -- will drop in and out as the Bumsteads plan a huge party for an unspecified wedding anniversary to be celebrated in the Sunday comics September 4. President Bush and wife Laura are also set to make an appearance.

Well, at least when they include comic book characters they recognize that the Bush family is amongst them. But "Dilbert" aside, has so many inches of boring ink come together on this side of a tattoo parlor?

I'm already atten-ennuiated beyond understanding.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Shotgun Chuggin Kurt C. Might Have Put It: "Rape Me!"

This lovely woman is guilty of "3rd Degree Rape and 3rd Degree Sodomy"

And she's only the second hottest rapist on the disturbing Miss Georgia Sex Offenders 2004 Pageant

I'd be creeped out if I wasn't.... er.. I'm creeped out because I'm aroused. ;-)

One More Dog for this Guy - Cause 3 Wouldn't be a Coincidence

Police dog commits suicide at work

Martens could not be reached for comment. His first canine died about two years ago after succumbing to a rare blood disease.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Whoa... someone needs a valium

This guy's face is so tight that if it were his asshole he'd have exploded years ago

Today's Conundrum, Conunbass, and Conunguitar

From Salon

when Stewart dons a tuxedo for the second half to sing chestnuts like "Blue Moon" and "What a Wonderful World" with full orchestra, I'm left pondering why aging rock stars like Stewart, Elvis Costello and Joni Mitchell sing standards so much better than, with only a few living exceptions (Shirley Horn, Cassandra Wilson), jazz singers.

Maybe it's because they are new to it and it isn't just running over it again? I mean, Rod Stewart has sung the rock sh*t over and over again so he might be justifiably tired of it.

Perhaps Shirley Horn should try some AC/DC?

Sunday, July 17, 2005

This Year at The Flea-Market

I didn't get kicked out for speeding.

I spent a lot of time at my booth being bothered/proctored by two sisters..

cuter than heck and part of the fleamarket kid-crewe that runs around getting free things. Because they hung around and helped me order things (and watched the booth when I went to the bathroom) I gave them each a leather portfolio. The news of which caused all the other flea-rats to swarm and I even got to see one of them empty his backpack to try to trade for the portfolio. V. interesting and a bit worrisome. Though I have to say the kids were as resilient and unscared as I remember kids were when I was young. Their parents were certainly concerned, but not neurotic.
I see the first female president of the US in one of these two!

On the way out I shot two quick pics of things that seemed eye-catching.

Women at Cut Price

Light on the Trash of the World

Friday, July 15, 2005

Saturday, July 09, 2005

The Sea of Pain

There is a sea of horror lapping at the edges of the everyday world, and these messages in bottles are floating in on every tide. These are the messages from the world of pain, messages that describe the suffering of strangers.

from this guardian place here...

and ain't "guardian" a word that looks like it can't possibly be spelled correctly...

Old man Sampson......

Friday, July 08, 2005

I understand what they are trying to say.. still..

Couldn't the guy have come up with some better word than "collaboration?"

A similar response came from France, the object of attacks in the 1990s. Prime Minister Dominique de Villepin ordered the alert level raised and promised Britain the "immediate, full and complete collaboration" of French intelligence.


Thursday, July 07, 2005

Top 10 sporting events of my life?

From a question at Uncertain Principles. I answer thusly...

Asterisks mean I was there..

1) The Catch
2) Montana to Taylor SB XXIII
3) “Do you believe in miracles?”
4) Immaculate Reception (mine aren’t all good either)
5) *Sleepy Floyd drops 52 on the Lakers in the playoffs
6) Effing Kirk Gibson hits the home run
7) Jets beat Baltimore in SB III
8) *Mike Ivie’s pinch hit grand slam knocks Dodgers out of playoffs in 87
9) * Minnesota beats niners in playoffs when no one covers the viking receiver who even now gives me a mental block!
10) * Only game I ever went to as a Cal Bear and Russel White rips the evil USC Condoms a brand new one…

So many more…

I must be old!

Friday, July 01, 2005

My New Hero

Mark Helprin

and not just cause he has the coolest library ever..

but he put words to my new ethic.... I call it 'focused slacking' for want of a better term.

"Enforced idleness is the way I want to live. I want to be a prisoner of things that make me stop still.”

Aaaaah.. it just makes me want to lay down and live!

More of Mark...