The Noisy Sounds of Silence

I don’t want you to try to save me

No I don’t want you at all
If we’re through
then you don’t blame me
Cause that won’t do at all

If you talk too much my head will explode…

You’ve no time to reconcile me
There’s no time left to call
I’ll take my shit and then I’ll vanish
I don’t want my shit at all..

If you talk too much my head will explode…

I don’t want you to try and save me
No I don’t want you at all

If you talk too much my head will explode…

As I lay on the mattress on the floor, reading another John Irving novel that could easily be used as ballast for a sea-faring vessel (Heft, not content – it’s a darned fine book), my iPod plays “If You Talk To Much My Head Will Explode.”

It occurs (reoccurs?) to me that I love being alone. I don’t like contact with other people. I don’t think I like people. The MAF, with whom I talk about his most often, is openly hostile to the notion that I’m not some kind of super-clown who lives off of peanuts tossed to me by circus goers. My semi-loathing metaphor for this is the clown-car. It pulls up and I roll out, like 23 dwarfs in frills and makeup.

Of course, it is my own fault. If I pull the clown-car to the curb and roll out with balloons and confetti, then who would believe I prefer to be back at the clown-car garage?

This short time in Daejeon, however, has reinstated in me the understanding I had in my 20’s. Being alone, reading, writing and thinking, is the most funnest thing ever. When I did this in my 20’s I was snorting quite a bit of cocaine, drinking madly, and suckling off the SSI teat.

That made it even better.

I’m too old for that shit now, but man… the vistas of “no fucking people” here in Korea are vast. They’re all Korean. They don’t speak English and I’m completely socially irrelevant to them. Brilliant.

I wonder if any of my compatriots are here for similar reasons?

I’m not saying I don’t get bored (hey, no TV and no intarwebs), but I am saying (with week 2 hubris) that I’m loving the lack of requirement to communicate.

Silenceology.. the science of shutting the fuck up.

More people should study it.