I am a Fringe Blogger!

So old Fred Thompson is ranting on about "fringe bloggers." He says there are...

“fringe elements of the blogosphere who think we’re the bad guys,” Thompson says.

That "we" in there is the United States. Now old Fred is famous for his work in Liberal Hollywood - his TV work alone indicates that he must be in at least 7 Godless Commie Hollywood Cells:

• Law & Order (2002-2007)
• Law & Order: Trial by Jury (2005-2006)
• Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (11 episodes, 2003-2006)
• Law & Order: Criminal Intent (2 episodes, 2005)
• Conviction (1 episode, 2006)
• Sex and the City (1 episode, 2000, as "Politician on TV")
• Matlock (1 episode in 1989 as "Gordon Lewis" and 1 episode in 1993 as "Prosecutor Mr. McGonigal")
• Roseanne (1 episode, 1989, as "Keith Faber")
• China Beach (1 episode, 1989, as "Lt. Col. Reinhardt")
• Wiseguy (3 episodes, 1988, as "Knox Pooley")

Good God! Not Roseanne!

And since I can't keep on topic, one thing I just have to note is that the
only thing more scary than Thompson frowning (left), is Thompson smiling (right). I included those parenthetical notes so you could tell which grimace is which. I mean, cripes, how many kids has this monster eaten today? That face loooks like it unzips to reveal the lizard-monster from outer-space which lies beneath. Well, it lies on the surface as well, but I think my point is clear.

None of which has anything to do with my post.

My post is a mea culpa, for I am a fringe-blogger. I mean, what the hell is beyond even fringe?

That's me. And old Fred has me dead to rights. So, like Bob Geiger, I'm listing the anti-American things (that I can remember! It was a pretty hectic week, after all) that I did last week...

I attended a college (by which I mean Liberal Indoctrination Institution) graduation for the BAG. Whilst taking pictures of various police officers to ID for later assassination (off the pigs!), I also took pictures of the BAG. During the speeches I plotted to fluoridate water in the swimming pools of Orange County.

I read (aha!) a book on J.R.R. Tolkein which I found boring. Put it down for a momentand doodled out a plan to impose mandatory third-trimester abortions on students in charter and religious schools. Refreshed, I returned to my book.

While shopping for chicken, carrots and biscuits I picked up some frozen French-fries, French’s mustard, and Crepes Suzettes. I cackled with glee at the idea of attacking my coronary health whilst also supporting the cheese-eating surrender monkeys. My next step is to impose mandatory national health insurance before my cardiac interruption.

On my way to work I flashed a boy-scout, a pre-schooler and a priest. I received a phone number from the latter.

I had a dinner at a local restaurant – you know I was supporting illegal immigrants back there in the kitchen somewhere.

While watching “Die Hard 3” I texted other members of my cell reminding them to send contributions to NOW, the ACLU, NAMBLA and the Republican Party so that they might continue their work destroying the United States.

There was a lot I didn’t get to, so my list for next week looks something like:

1) Weaken moral fiber of the United States (work on specifics over the weekend)

2) Deface “In God We Trust” on 13 dollar bills.

3) Burn American Flag in Elementary School yard

4) Impregnate innocent young home-schooled child (preferably a female).

5) Sell ‘reefer’ to middle schoolers (Note to self: Perhaps give away the first few samples?)

6) Cruise internet for gay high-heeled horse porn (I’m not sure how I didn’t get around to that this weekend?)

7) Contact Iron Sheik and Alec Baldwin to see what anti-US antics they are up to. (This is really just an excuse to see pictures of the Iron Sheik with his bare, brown, muscular torso all oiled up. Roooowwwwwwr!)

8) Watch my calories and work out.

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