Accepted to MCAA...

Congratulations! Your paper has been accepted for inclusion in the 56th
Annual Midwest Conference of Asian Affairs held at Washington University
in St. Louis. The conference will meet from noon on Friday, October 19th
to noon on Sunday, October 21st.

is what they tell me.

Cool!

I am a Fringe Blogger!

So old Fred Thompson is ranting on about "fringe bloggers." He says there are...

“fringe elements of the blogosphere who think we’re the bad guys,” Thompson says.

That "we" in there is the United States. Now old Fred is famous for his work in Liberal Hollywood - his TV work alone indicates that he must be in at least 7 Godless Commie Hollywood Cells:

• Law & Order (2002-2007)
• Law & Order: Trial by Jury (2005-2006)
• Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (11 episodes, 2003-2006)
• Law & Order: Criminal Intent (2 episodes, 2005)
• Conviction (1 episode, 2006)
• Sex and the City (1 episode, 2000, as "Politician on TV")
• Matlock (1 episode in 1989 as "Gordon Lewis" and 1 episode in 1993 as "Prosecutor Mr. McGonigal")
• Roseanne (1 episode, 1989, as "Keith Faber")
• China Beach (1 episode, 1989, as "Lt. Col. Reinhardt")
• Wiseguy (3 episodes, 1988, as "Knox Pooley")

Good God! Not Roseanne!

And since I can't keep on topic, one thing I just have to note is that the
only thing more scary than Thompson frowning (left), is Thompson smiling (right). I included those parenthetical notes so you could tell which grimace is which. I mean, cripes, how many kids has this monster eaten today? That face loooks like it unzips to reveal the lizard-monster from outer-space which lies beneath. Well, it lies on the surface as well, but I think my point is clear.

None of which has anything to do with my post.

My post is a mea culpa, for I am a fringe-blogger. I mean, what the hell is beyond even fringe?

That's me. And old Fred has me dead to rights. So, like Bob Geiger, I'm listing the anti-American things (that I can remember! It was a pretty hectic week, after all) that I did last week...

I attended a college (by which I mean Liberal Indoctrination Institution) graduation for the BAG. Whilst taking pictures of various police officers to ID for later assassination (off the pigs!), I also took pictures of the BAG. During the speeches I plotted to fluoridate water in the swimming pools of Orange County.

I read (aha!) a book on J.R.R. Tolkein which I found boring. Put it down for a momentand doodled out a plan to impose mandatory third-trimester abortions on students in charter and religious schools. Refreshed, I returned to my book.

While shopping for chicken, carrots and biscuits I picked up some frozen French-fries, French’s mustard, and Crepes Suzettes. I cackled with glee at the idea of attacking my coronary health whilst also supporting the cheese-eating surrender monkeys. My next step is to impose mandatory national health insurance before my cardiac interruption.

On my way to work I flashed a boy-scout, a pre-schooler and a priest. I received a phone number from the latter.

I had a dinner at a local restaurant – you know I was supporting illegal immigrants back there in the kitchen somewhere.

While watching “Die Hard 3” I texted other members of my cell reminding them to send contributions to NOW, the ACLU, NAMBLA and the Republican Party so that they might continue their work destroying the United States.

There was a lot I didn’t get to, so my list for next week looks something like:

1) Weaken moral fiber of the United States (work on specifics over the weekend)

2) Deface “In God We Trust” on 13 dollar bills.

3) Burn American Flag in Elementary School yard

4) Impregnate innocent young home-schooled child (preferably a female).

5) Sell ‘reefer’ to middle schoolers (Note to self: Perhaps give away the first few samples?)

6) Cruise internet for gay high-heeled horse porn (I’m not sure how I didn’t get around to that this weekend?)

7) Contact Iron Sheik and Alec Baldwin to see what anti-US antics they are up to. (This is really just an excuse to see pictures of the Iron Sheik with his bare, brown, muscular torso all oiled up. Roooowwwwwwr!)

8) Watch my calories and work out.

• 

Late Update On BAGs Graduation

Which actually occurred last weekend at University on the Hill. I motored on up to pick the BAG up at about 1:30 and we headed off to find a motel to stay in that night. We also headed over to check out a place for the post-graduation party. We had both worked in that town before and so we knew of a brewpub and also remembered it was a favorite of MR. KOREA who was going to come on up for the post-party with his lovely wife. We stopped in about 2:30 and I had a glass of lager and the BAG had a coke. The boite had expanded and looked grand, so we decided our choice had been a good one. We then headed off towards the University on the Hill and right at the bottom of the hill found a lovely hotel for about 60 American. An excellent deal so we grabbed a room and the BAG dressed up - as you can see - and called her brother to iron out some last minute details.
There had already been one little snag. The BAG had emailed her brother about the graduation and not explicitly told him to invite the parents. In a normal family this would be a given, but the brother decided that discretion was the greater part of valor and simply ignored telling the parents. Thank God the BAG called to ensure everything was ok and at least the mother/aunt was able to make it to the graduation. They really are a family of wolves, except wolves, I think, communicate with each other?

After we settled in it was up the hill to drop the BAG off and I ran back down the hill to get some money so I could purchase some roses for the BAG (those roses should show up in a picture somewhere down there). By the time I got back that ampitheatre was full, and I picked a spot up on the hill with a good view. The best seats in the house were a good 75 yards from the stage, so the view was pretty remote no matter where you were. BAG graduated and danced across the stage like an alien bug on a red-hot griddle. Then, there was an enormous crush on the way out, which I pretty much avoided and therefore got to the restaurant a good 45 minutes before everyone else. My Angry Friend was also free and tried to call me, but the fact that my cell phone microphone was broken made our pathetic attempts to communicate with each other... well.. pathetic.

So I sat there waiting for someone from the other crew to show up with a cellphone that actually worked. And I wondered why MR. KOREAN wasn't there since he had called me at 6 with the news that he and his brood were on the way. This particular question was answered when the BAG got to the restaurant and called him. Her jaw tightened up in that cute way it does when she is about to explode and she said, "I don't understand, talk to my Long Suffering Boy Friend (me!)" The Koreans were, in a most un-Korean way, bailing on the whole thing. In fact, they had already bailed. This was letting the side down in a major way and the BAG was testy for some time.

We got inside and I called My Angry Friend who talked to me for about 2 minutes and then waltzed around the corner. She had been at the graduation but because A) My phone didn't work and B) I had given the BAGs phone back to her, we couldn't connect.

At last, we had the band together. And by now the band included, if not MR JAPANESE (we had downgraded him in our minds) the BAG's Indian roommate who seemed, at least, to have the best time of any of us.

We had reformed the band so we could wait 45 minutes while other large tables got seated from behind us in line by a really snotty young woman. If the BAG hadn't finally gone and complained to the manager we would be waiting still. The service was iffy, the food was poor, and a waitress bid My Angry Friend "goodnight" or something similar, while MAF was on her way to the bathroom and before our food was even plated.

I don't think we will be going back.

At least two people gave the BAG money, which she accepted with the disdain that she accepts all gifts (raised by wolves, remember?) but was happy to get. She also received books, which as everyone knows she is also always happy to get. I also snapped that photo of the "nuclear" (so-called because it has the same effect on its members as radiation poisoning!) family over there. I still had the long lens on and I rather like the "family in the background" quality that it gives the picture.

The BAG and I then scooted off to the hotel, where I availed myself of my little flask which contained schnapps. I had owned the damned flask for several months, and I was happy of a chance to use it.

We watched TV, slept, and the next day headed out Delta-wards for some book-shopping and antique browsing. Thus you see the BAG cursing the "dirty damned apes!" as she comes across the Statue of Liberty.

I'd give the whole thing an 8 out of 10, largely redeemed because the BAG was so happy and now she has the sheepy-skin (on something other than a 'natural' condom which always falls offa me because it is too big and that 'problem' I have with intimacy. Well, enough boring any readers with that).

Wheee...

CV for Korea done and will go out this weekend after looks at it..

relentless tinkering on the thesis but now it is surely done and I will send it off tomorrow goddamit! Up to 18,500 words which is just excessive!

all that's left is the abstract for MACCA...

BAG graduated last weekend and I should get pictures of that soon.

Mr. Korea became Mr. USA and I will see him this weekend to celebrate...

Yeesh!

I finally got a scuffle with my gym worked out and got my card back today. Which caused me to walk over there and work out. Let's say things are not well ... if my body is a temple its the freaking Parthenon. A three mile round trip interrupted by a simple all-body lifting routine (with extra light weights) and I might was well have been hit by a truck.. ;-) At least I listened to some Korean language on the walk section of my slow-motion suicide. So if I keep doing this it should be a study aid as well.

The last MLA changes to the thesis occur tonight and then it will be off to the department head for rubber stamp. Also tonight I need to finish my abstract for MACCA in October. That and polish up the CV for Korean eyes and I will be in good shape on my exit strategy....

Poetry, Literature and other lies..

Sitting here waiting for the "final final final" word that my thesis has been accepted.

Came across my favorite poetrical stanza of the day (narrowly beating out several fine verses from the "Man from Nantucket" canon as well as one fine dope-rhyme from Fitty Cent - has the ever been such a time for the afficionado of poetry??).

Some work of noble note, may yet be done,
Not unbecoming men that strove with Gods.
The lights begin to twinkle from the rocks;
The long day wanes; the slow moon climbs; the deep
Moans round with many voices. Come, my friends.

Nice.. I suppose I should read more Tennyson.

But it might come hard on my drinking..

Books that never should have been writ..

Well.. more properly, headlines, for articles in the "Book Review" section of the Chronicle, which ensure I will never read the book in question..

A Bumpkin Blossoms as an Artist: A Young Girl Comes of Age as a Carpetmaker's Apprentice in 17th Century Iran

This is so clunky it is almost unbelievable. How can you throw so many idiot tropes together in one header?

If Bumpkin Blossoms are contagious in the slightest, or drive out native blossoms, I.. uh.. I hate them.

Then there is the young girl "blossoming" thing which is either cliche or right offa that porn site I was just on.

Related - the phrase "A Young Girl Comes of Age" should be retired to the "downy-blossomed cheeks" home for cliches that expired in the early Victorian Age.

The "artist" thing? Be one, don't talk about it.

Is the "Carpetmaker's Apprentice" anything like the "Sorcerer's Apprentice." More importantly, does the carpet match the drapes?

If I wanted to read about 17th Century Iran I would kill myself because I obviously had nothing better to do than enter eternity.

Perhaps the author deserves better. She did title her book "The Blood of Flowers." That's a title which gives me confidence that eating vegetables, a lot like eating meat, must be murder.

It would certainly make my veggie burger taste a bit better.

Compare that stupidity to this header on Salon for a book that is just as likely a stooopid chick-flic in print..

Lovesick girls in 17th century China wrestling for control of their destinies

Love, sickness, and hot Chinese wrasslin chicks... which one would you read?

Call me.... Shakestoor

Cause I'm the Bard of the Bored. I'm the Chairman of the Bard...


from the mighty D&D quiz

You scored as Bard, It is said that music has a special magic, and the bard proves that saying true. Wandering across the land, gathering lore, telling stories, working magic with his music, and living on the gratitude of his audience: such is the life of a bard. Bard 100% Ranger 80% Sorcerer 80% Fighter 70% Paladin 60% Cleric 60% Barbarian 60% Wizard 50% Monk 50% Rogue 50% Druid 40% Which D&D Class Are You? created with QuizFarm.com

BugFiddlery Redux..

17,737 words.. but much stronger...

Lovely advisor returns manana and I will send this off to get his final stamp of approval...

then I will have to stop for actual printing. ;-)

Saving Ice Lakes From the Hippies

If you want to help defeat the hippies a printable version is here send it to all your friends!

or mock the hippies at their "Save" Serene Lakes site..

Press Release

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals is starting a multinational campaign charging that International Health Organizations are complicit in an “International campaign of genocide aimed at the SARS virus”.

"To inflict cruelties on defenseless creatures, or condone such acts, is to abuse one of the cardinal tenets of a civilized society - reverence for life." Jon Evans

In a news release, the organization said that the campaign is being launched to pressure the World Health Organization (WHO) the Western Health Alliance of Technicians (WHAT), and the World Health Employees’ Regional Entente (WHERE) to work harder for better treatment of viruses in humans and at laboratories.

On Tuesday, the group will hold an 11 a.m. news conference at the Fishkill Hilton Hotel in Vancouver, and also in Beijing and Hong Kong to unveil posters, leaflets, stickers, and other materials bearing the slogan "It’s Another Holocaust: 6-Million Every Minute!”

“WHO, WHAT and WHERE have begun a campaign of obliteration, leaving us no choice but to turn up the heat," PETA director of Vegan Outreach Bruce Friedrich, said in the release. "Remember, meat is murder, and we think of viruses as extremely small cuts of meat."

Amy Sherwood, a spokeswoman for WHO, said that the organization denies PETA's claims. "WHO is committed to the well being and humane treatment of all living creatures and we require all of our members to follow welfare guidelines developed by us with leading experts on our Animal Welfare Advisory Council." she said. "Additionally, we have taken a leadership role with our trade associations to establish standardized guidelines for the entire medical industry, including welfare clinics. Our expectation is that these industry-wide guidelines will be completed in August."

PETA has announced plans to build a sanctuary for expelled viruses. Located in the teeming slums of India, this sanctuary will provide a home for unwanted and/or expelled viruses. “We hope to someday expand this sanctuary so that all bacteria and viruses have a safe and sane home,” Friedrich noted, going on to say that, “we welcome all little creatures, no matter how small, and look forward to that shipment of anthrax from Iraq just as hopefully as SARS viruses from the US, Canada, and China.”

We must write our elected officials to let them know that we are concerned with the welfare of these defenseless viruses. We can also join animal rights groups to become more active in the fight. Future generations of the virus must be allowed to remain in the bloodstream, where they belong. This may seem drastic, but so are the hardships these viruses go through every day of their lives. Our health must not come from exploiting them.