Friday, January 05, 2007

Pimpin' Ain't Easy

One of the SVC coaches was about to pass a major milestone and in my role as SVC pimp I had lined up quite a bit of press coverage. The press loves our college and anything that tarnishes its mighty image would be a VERY BAD THING. Therefore it was the cause of much trepidation when police cars surrounded the game just as the TV crews arrived. And, when, a few minutes into the game one of our star players was mysteriously called out of the game, at which point our offense spluttered completely and the other team went ahead, it was, well, as I said, mysterious.

Turns out the player (“player!” get it.. he’s a player!) had his out of town girlfriend discover his in town girlfriend (and vice-versa) and she took it into her head to clock him with a household appliance. He pushed his way out of the house and to the locker room. Where out of town girlfriend busted in while all the players were dressing. In the meantime, in town girlfriend called the police who descended on the playing field and hauled him out of the game. Both sides were interviewed, and since the player had some major marks on him and the girlfriend none, he was allowed back into the game at which point our excellent coach was able to go on and win his record-setting game. Plenty of TV coverage, which was good inasmuch as it wasn’t of one of our players being hauled off to the hoosegow.

Interestingly, if the player and gf had lived together? Automatic ride downtown since here attack on him would have been domestic abuse. Probable loss of game and a different story for the press.

Take home message? Don’t move in with the biatch!

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