Sunday, February 18, 2007

Heavens to Murgatroyd!

I am now officially wireless-less and almost completely phone-less.

I have lost connection to my landlady's ultra-secure (for secure you might well say, impenetrable or even useless) wireless and the (unknown) people whose wireless I had been, er.. "borrowing" apparently got tired of my ceaseless downloading of goat-pornography movies and mp3s of Karen Carpenter singing live. Alas, I have no intarwebs at home!

My stinking cell-phone, on the other hand, now has a broken microphone and while I can see incoming messages, hear them, and even listen to to people talk to me, I am sadly unable to respond. No big deal. I didn't like talking to most of you anyway. ;-p

This means that my communication, already pretty spavined, will become.. well .. even more spavined. I will be reduced to huddling in my disconnected, cold and dark converted garage with nothing but 12 cable channels and the pornography already on my laptop. Now and then I will run over to Cuetopia for a dozen hot-dogs, a case of Schlitz and the quick note to/from the outside world..

One month my rent check will not be in the landlady's mailbox and on the third day of that month she will break in and find my frozen corpse next to a broken cellphone and a laptop with its battery long-since expired.

For the moment though, I'm off to check out Cuetopia to see if it really does have the awesome wireless... I bet they even have a big-screen TV!

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