A Universal Law -- Can't get What you Don't Have.

Over on another web site some folks are discussing job hunting and of course the first law of job hunting pops up: The best job hunting tip is to look while you already have a job.

Which I start thinking about. During this cogitation it becomes clear to me that this is part of a greater and more universal law.. "It Is Easier To Get Another One Of What You Already Have." Which is also part of a greater and more universal law - "The Universe Doesn't Like You Very Much."

The universe exists to make your life difficult for you, in the end making it so difficult that you no longer have your life. That's a rigged game even by Vegas' standards. Following the principle that the universe is out to get you it makes sense that if you already have something you need, it will be abundant. Conversely if you desperately need something, it will be difficult to obtain. This is why you can easily find a Twinkie in Houston Texas (the fattest city in the fattest nation in the world) but can't find a Twinkie crumb in Ethiopia.

This applies all over the place. Consider that classic bit of folk wisdom that "it takes money to make money." So if you are broke you can't possibly make money.

Think about how much easier it is to buy a car from a car-dealer when he thinks you might just walk off the lot. Once any part, even a part as venal and insignificant as a car salesman, of the universe knows you need something it immediately becomes more difficult to get. You won't be getting the cashback bonus, you won't get the good APR, you won't get free extras. Because you need the car and the salesman knows it, that's why.

It works from other angles as well. Ever notice that being in a relationship makes you twice as attractive to others? Guess why? When you have one partner, you can get another. Try that when you're single. Welcome to late-night cable and lubricant.

The question of real need is one thing. But these rules also apply in situations where you merely want something. If you don't have something other people do have, you want it. We may call this the "Iron Law of Consumer Capitalism" and it is a subsidiary to the laws we have already discussed.

This law has the same implications as the others. We can tell it is a law because it applies even in previously non-existent circumstances. I never wanted an Ipod - I barely even used my Walkman and I steadfastly believed that you should only listen to radio in a car or else your musical taste will necessarily ossify into what you already have ("Step away from the Jackson Browne albums!").

Yet, as soon as someone I knew actually had an Ipod? It became first on my lists of wants. Because it wasn't an actual need, I was able to achieve it (while the universe will toy with your wants, it is much better on taking away what you need -- this gets back to its basic structure as a mass-murderer). My point isn't that I snuck one by the universe (you never really do) it's the reverse - that the "Iron Law of Consumer Capitalism" was waiting there to get me.

For now?

I'm off to browse the Sharper Image Catalog and relax.