The Conservation of Misery Theory - Implications

The conservation of energy is a fundamental concept of physics along with the conservation of mass and the conservation of momentum. To this I add the "conservation of misery" theory which adds another powder-filled ball to the canon. In short, the "conservation of misery" theory proposes that within some problem domain, the amount of misery remains constant and misery is neither created nor destroyed.

In other words, all misery can be is shifted around, not destroyed. And like the other laws of physics, my theory explains a lot about life. This is partly because, as I said above, it functions at any convenient domain level.

SOME ANALYSIS FOLLOWING THE THEORY ABOVE:

• The COM theory explains the notion of schedenfreude the German word that is used to describe "taking pleasure in other people's misery." We aren't being insensitive, it is just that in the local domain the balance of misery has shifted away from us and therefore we are happier.

• The COM theory also explains why, when you feel miserable, it feels as though the world is "piling on." The fact is that the world is piling on - it is completely natural to expect everyone to attempt to minimize misery (just as in philosophy we speak about maximizing common good or in economics of maximizing profit).

• It is ridiculous to attempt to "cheer someone up" as the COM theory suggests that if you are in the same domain as that person, you will suffer if they are cheered.

• "Commiseration" is exactly as miserable as it sounds. If you attempt to cheer someone up by pretending to understand that they are miserable you just might succeed and then, as the COM theory suggests, you might well end up miserable. Which you would deserve. For being a commiserator.



Now, of course, just as I am pursuing this ground-breaking line of thought my miserable POSSLQ is attempting to shift misery (TurboTax cuts off the right margin on an archaic Win98 system) to me by taking my brand spanking new G5 and reducing it to an income tax processor.

Doesn't matter anyway, I googled my theory and apparently someone had it before, as indicated by this graphic: