MINOR AGGRAVATION DU JOUR
So.. in the faculty apartments you either get an electric stove or a dual gas-burner thing. Normally, I’d prefer the gas burner by a Korean mile (which, as it happens, is equivalent to 2.2 Kilometers or, in the local parlance, “100 times the distance I can spit”). But there is a truly annoying “safety feature” with the ones we have. That is that you can’t turn it down below about medium. The lever that controls gas level won’t go low enough (I presume) to run the risk of the flame guttering out and the gas killing me in my sleep (Since, like all waygook, I frequently sleep while cooking). This means browning vegetables is a bit difficult. Just another reason, I suppose, to give up on them entirely.
MINOR BLESSING DU JOUR
After class one of my Academic Writing Students comes up to me in one of those Korean Serious Moods and I’m starting to think I said something to offend Korean Pride. Instead she says, “Are you teaching this class next term? Because if you’re teaching it again I want to take it again.” Aaah.. at least one of the students likes my teaching. I told her I hoped so and said that if I was, she’d better prepare what she wanted to do since the rest of the class would be behind her. She looked properly serious (she’s trying to go to Grad School) and said, “I have many writing projects planned.”
Because 10 of them were ill with the flu that is raging through the college I only had 28 Chinese students and the class went smooth as glass. 30. Keep my conversational classes under 30 and I will be a happy little imperialist.
And because Korean students get a day off for the elections (now THAT is democracy, my friends!), I only have them once next week.
TONIGHT’S SWEETNESS
Off to read two short stores from the collection I will be reviewing. After that some Korean history for the piece I am speccing for Education in Asia. Can’t think of a better way to spend an evening here in the Land of the Morning Calm.
Thursday, April 03, 2008
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
Death TO Above
Thumper McStomp went mad last night.
I have become used to his early morning routine. When he slips on the football cleats, cranks up his stereo and re-enacts all parts of the Nuremburg rally in interpretive dance, while unsuccessfully attempting to juggle six 10-pound iron dumbbells? I shrug.
The same is true at night.
But at about 2:30 this morning something else happened. I suspect he began to “miss his wife.”
In a physical way.
You know what I mean.
Which I have no problem with. If he wants to sit up there dressed in nothing but a rubber Gorton’s Firsherman hat and smudge-proof sunglasses to avoid blinding himself in the showers of spunk he creates?
He can do what he wants (although I feel mildly creepy that this is the image I came up with).
But when he (apparently) lays on his back on the bare floor, paratroop boots and football helmet on, with his enormous brass ‘helper’ only partly inserted and spastically hacks away at himself with one hand in a catcher’s mitt and the other holding his over-clocked electric toothbrush?
I hear that.
I have become used to his early morning routine. When he slips on the football cleats, cranks up his stereo and re-enacts all parts of the Nuremburg rally in interpretive dance, while unsuccessfully attempting to juggle six 10-pound iron dumbbells? I shrug.
The same is true at night.
But at about 2:30 this morning something else happened. I suspect he began to “miss his wife.”
In a physical way.
You know what I mean.
Which I have no problem with. If he wants to sit up there dressed in nothing but a rubber Gorton’s Firsherman hat and smudge-proof sunglasses to avoid blinding himself in the showers of spunk he creates?
He can do what he wants (although I feel mildly creepy that this is the image I came up with).
But when he (apparently) lays on his back on the bare floor, paratroop boots and football helmet on, with his enormous brass ‘helper’ only partly inserted and spastically hacks away at himself with one hand in a catcher’s mitt and the other holding his over-clocked electric toothbrush?
I hear that.
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
"Millions of pounds of Jello suddenly cried out in terror."
Since I didn't make it to the gym yesterday I "ran." For 10 measly minutes. And reduced my legs to jello.
Who knew jello could feel pain? ;-)
Who knew jello could feel pain? ;-)
Monday, March 31, 2008
What Teaching? Teaching What?
DPP (D. Pucaaiaiaiai! Pilipina) asks about education.
Just like in the US, not so very much.
But since I nearly ran off with DPP to smuggle guano to the Solomon Islands (Alas, a handsome Anglo named Bruce Geer stole her away with his manly and direct glance. These things happen. It turned out for the best as I have the OAF and DPP now lives in her cluttered office amongst half-eaten candies, dog-eared books, and two book-eared dogs.) I thought I might start on about that.
Since I’m always going on about something.
The commitment to “learning” English is stated but not real.
While I teach a “conversational” class, the final the students take to assess their ‘conversational’ skills will be 100% written. A deaf mute could pass these tests.
I was talking to my coordinator about the fact that they have given us a textbook which presents us with 7 “exercises” to do in 90 minutes. In 75 minutes, actually, since a 15 minute break is given. So assume 5 minutes for taking roll, announcements, getting the chairs shifted, and so forth, we have 10 minutes per exercise to include explanation of the task, modeling (most of the books are big on modeling), and then the actual exercise.
This is unattainable in even the most frenetic forced lockstep. So, you assign some as homework and hope it gets done. When I had this conversation with my director he shrugged (this is his response, similar to the program director’s sigh and faraway unfocused stare) and said, “it happens every term. They assign us a certain amount of chapters and by the midterm we are far behind.” But the next semester they give us the same number of chapters. Since most of the courses are curved I suppose that none of this matters, 10-20% will get A’s and the rest will follow below. I’m not teaching at a prestigious university. But no one is learning conversational English here.
I have noted the number of Koreans one can see, in Seoul, on the underground reading a book in English. And not just any book, frequently books of some heft, both physically and in the canon. I’ve seen Dickens, Shakespeare, Wuthering Heights, you name it. But any attempt to speak with these readers would be futile. They can’t speak more than a few words of English, and certainly couldn’t construct a spoken sentence under any circumstances. The Korean educational approach to instruction is one of the many reasons this is so.
Most Koreans don’t see this as a problem. Korean men in the United States are sometimes referred to as “hi-bye” men because of their lack of fluency. Kim Seong-kon, writing in the Korea Herald notes that the problem really is that the goal of Korean education is to pass tests. Kim refers students to US institutions and says that the institutions are always amazed at the high TOEFL and GRE scores of Korean applicants. He says, “Indeed, who could be better-trained than Korean students when it comes to choosing the right answer on an exam sheet? Due to the notorious college entrance exam that decides one’s future, Korean students begin training to choose the right answer as early as elementary school. Kim goes on to note that the second “amazement” these institutions get is when the Korean students arrive in the US and are not able to speak English.” Kim says that he has to walk these people through an understanding that test-taking and speaking ability are essentially uncoupled in Korea. While in the United States tests are supposed to measure, and even increase, knowledge, in Korea the tests are supposed to measure, well, test-taking ability.
And so it is that, somewhere in there, the little kids on the street who can speak limited, but pretty accentless English, become the college Freshmen who are entirely unfamiliar with English. 12 years of education has done its job and rendered these students entirely mute.
Society is pleased.
And I get paid, so it’s ALL good.
Just like in the US, not so very much.
But since I nearly ran off with DPP to smuggle guano to the Solomon Islands (Alas, a handsome Anglo named Bruce Geer stole her away with his manly and direct glance. These things happen. It turned out for the best as I have the OAF and DPP now lives in her cluttered office amongst half-eaten candies, dog-eared books, and two book-eared dogs.) I thought I might start on about that.
Since I’m always going on about something.
The commitment to “learning” English is stated but not real.
While I teach a “conversational” class, the final the students take to assess their ‘conversational’ skills will be 100% written. A deaf mute could pass these tests.
I was talking to my coordinator about the fact that they have given us a textbook which presents us with 7 “exercises” to do in 90 minutes. In 75 minutes, actually, since a 15 minute break is given. So assume 5 minutes for taking roll, announcements, getting the chairs shifted, and so forth, we have 10 minutes per exercise to include explanation of the task, modeling (most of the books are big on modeling), and then the actual exercise.
This is unattainable in even the most frenetic forced lockstep. So, you assign some as homework and hope it gets done. When I had this conversation with my director he shrugged (this is his response, similar to the program director’s sigh and faraway unfocused stare) and said, “it happens every term. They assign us a certain amount of chapters and by the midterm we are far behind.” But the next semester they give us the same number of chapters. Since most of the courses are curved I suppose that none of this matters, 10-20% will get A’s and the rest will follow below. I’m not teaching at a prestigious university. But no one is learning conversational English here.
I have noted the number of Koreans one can see, in Seoul, on the underground reading a book in English. And not just any book, frequently books of some heft, both physically and in the canon. I’ve seen Dickens, Shakespeare, Wuthering Heights, you name it. But any attempt to speak with these readers would be futile. They can’t speak more than a few words of English, and certainly couldn’t construct a spoken sentence under any circumstances. The Korean educational approach to instruction is one of the many reasons this is so.
Most Koreans don’t see this as a problem. Korean men in the United States are sometimes referred to as “hi-bye” men because of their lack of fluency. Kim Seong-kon, writing in the Korea Herald notes that the problem really is that the goal of Korean education is to pass tests. Kim refers students to US institutions and says that the institutions are always amazed at the high TOEFL and GRE scores of Korean applicants. He says, “Indeed, who could be better-trained than Korean students when it comes to choosing the right answer on an exam sheet? Due to the notorious college entrance exam that decides one’s future, Korean students begin training to choose the right answer as early as elementary school. Kim goes on to note that the second “amazement” these institutions get is when the Korean students arrive in the US and are not able to speak English.” Kim says that he has to walk these people through an understanding that test-taking and speaking ability are essentially uncoupled in Korea. While in the United States tests are supposed to measure, and even increase, knowledge, in Korea the tests are supposed to measure, well, test-taking ability.
And so it is that, somewhere in there, the little kids on the street who can speak limited, but pretty accentless English, become the college Freshmen who are entirely unfamiliar with English. 12 years of education has done its job and rendered these students entirely mute.
Society is pleased.
And I get paid, so it’s ALL good.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
I Roam The Alleys!
Probably, it's more like I haunt them.The alleys among houses are usually deserted here, so as I walk them I meet no one. But god knows what a sight I must be to those few who do come around some bend and run into me.
I particularly pity the poor ajumma who rounds a bend and comes face to face with an old, fat, white man in a leather jacket slamming through the alleyways with his iPod turned to eleven. His arms wave in spastic approximation of TV on The Radio and his mouth howls (well it looks like that - the monster actually makes no noise besides the stretching and rubbing of leather overstrained by the body inside it. In some ways, I'm sure, the fact that no sound at all is coming out makes the scene even more terrifying) the lyrics.
It must look something like Hell Come To Earth to the poor old woman. I always drop my best Anyeong Haseyo, but it never seems to make up for the shock I have given. Then, I return to my perambulating Joe Cocker impersonation.
I particularly pity the poor ajumma who rounds a bend and comes face to face with an old, fat, white man in a leather jacket slamming through the alleyways with his iPod turned to eleven. His arms wave in spastic approximation of TV on The Radio and his mouth howls (well it looks like that - the monster actually makes no noise besides the stretching and rubbing of leather overstrained by the body inside it. In some ways, I'm sure, the fact that no sound at all is coming out makes the scene even more terrifying) the lyrics.
It must look something like Hell Come To Earth to the poor old woman. I always drop my best Anyeong Haseyo, but it never seems to make up for the shock I have given. Then, I return to my perambulating Joe Cocker impersonation.
Got a curse we cannot lift
shines when the sunset shifts
there's a cure comes with a kiss the bite
that binds the gift that gives
No, I don't actually kiss or bite them.
Much.
Today was too shitty to head out to Expo Park. It didn't exactly rain, but it was overcast all day and that normally makes for cruddy outside shots. Diffuse natural lighting is pretty good for taking pictures of humans.. but most inanimate objects and natural scenes are pretty blah. Sometimes a good opportunity for B&W photography, but I'm not good enough to do that yet. So, alleys it was. A walk through the "old town" here in Daejeon on my way downtown. First to the train station and then off to, by some sort of indirection, good luck, and point to point navigation, find the Starbucks.
In retrospect, the fact that I immediately turned away from the Starbucks might seem odd. But recall - my plan began with indirection. So did I.I wandered for a bit and then realized I was doing a sort of reverse version of the walk I had done on my first Saturday in town. I was heading over to the Solbridge Business Building. So I swung hard left and wandered very randomly through the near town. I bothered to stop and take one picture.
Regular readers (Hi ma!) might remember that I purchased some kind of "food" that I could never figure out the use for or provenance of. I'm afraid I have found the latter and it is demonstrated in the lovely photo there to the right. The
mystery food is first extruded, and then sliced from the anu...... well, you can see for yourself.
mystery food is first extruded, and then sliced from the anu...... well, you can see for yourself.After a long counter-clockwise-ish loop I began to feel I was recognizing things and then got to a rubber coated road lacing through a market area. It was tantalizingly familiar and I was sure I was 
on the track of the Starbucks. Also, I could see the two new buildings being constructed on the backside of Daejeon Station, so I also knew which way home was. That's always a comforting feeling.
on the track of the Starbucks. Also, I could see the two new buildings being constructed on the backside of Daejeon Station, so I also knew which way home was. That's always a comforting feeling. Here I also discovered a shop that in some obscure way reminded me of MAF. So I took a quick shot of the thing that she might enjoy it as much as I had.
All of a sudden I realized, "hey, if I turn left here I will walk two blocks and the Starbucks will be right there on the corner." Which I did. The Starbucks, unfortunately, was not there. Nutted by reality.
I headed back into the market and kept walking. I passed by this startling diorama - it is of the classic
Korean folk horror-tale that adults use to scare unruly little children (if the story of alley-lurking fat voiceless waygook singer don't do). The Korean tale of the headless wedding party is built to scare both as a horror story and as an abrogation of normal Confucian relationships. It is so scary that, someday, I will have to come up with the particulars of it. ;-)
Korean folk horror-tale that adults use to scare unruly little children (if the story of alley-lurking fat voiceless waygook singer don't do). The Korean tale of the headless wedding party is built to scare both as a horror story and as an abrogation of normal Confucian relationships. It is so scary that, someday, I will have to come up with the particulars of it. ;-)Eventually I did find the correct left turn. Finding the Starbucks was the highlight of my day, which is probably why I was entranced.. maybe even hypnotized, by the old lady sharpening knife blades on an old-fashioned whetstone.
I walked into the closed part of the mall and took various pictures of things that homicidal ajummas were trying to pass off as food. The sign, if I am 
translating it properly, says, "Piles of incredibly nasty stuff. But surprisingly inexpensive!" The numbers underneath the Hangul are to local emergency rooms and poison control centers.
translating it properly, says, "Piles of incredibly nasty stuff. But surprisingly inexpensive!" The numbers underneath the Hangul are to local emergency rooms and poison control centers. That arm? It does bend inwards my friends, it does bend inwards.
With all of this excitement finally behind me, I hied myself hither to the PCBang to grab some IM time with the OAF. Who, currently, is like the Starbucks - not quite where I expect or want it/her.
Hello....
Hello...?
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Looking Down On Creation
There is some pleasure to getting things organized. With the big sickness not so very far behind me and the rain ahead (just starting, actually) it didn't seem like a day for roaming. I stayed within about 10 blocks of the Bohemian Love Pad. Did laundry, hit the PCBang, bought some folders to organize my projects. Took a look at the ScriptFrenzy site and grabbed a cool software yclept Celtx which lays out screenplays. Also took heed of the sites’advice that I should have an outline and came home to look at the work I have on the computer as well as in a beat up old notebook that I’ve been carting around for years (decades? Maybe. I am that fucking old). It seems to lend itself to an episodic approach and I quickly limned out 10 of the episodes. Sort of an ongoing story-line with individual flashbacks to previous, failed, crimes as well as previous (failed?) introductions and friendships. I always wanted to write a screenplay and, this April, away I go. I’m aiming at about 120 pages, but will be ecstatic if I finish the thing. ;-)Once that was done I started organizing the Korean marketing piece, as I intend to submit that for consideration of the 4th World Congress of Korean Studies in Fukuoka, Japan. An acceptance there would be major. I am not sanguine, but if it gets me to finish the piece anything beyond is lagniappe.
I wolfed around the neighborhood trying to find pieces of furniture being tossed out – I need something to organize documents – but everything was either of another nature, or too ratty. I may give in and purchase something, though that goes entirely against my “bag-lady pimpin' Caligula scrimpin’” scheme here.
With the heat on, the rain outside, and the beautiful buzzing in my head (It’s 5:45 in the afternoon on a Saturday. I made a lovely Soju cocktail and am pretty certain there may be another in my immediate future) I can’t say I have anything to complain about.
Which pretty much renders me mute. ;-)
That picture is of some of the lads in my Japanese Studies students (my favorites by a mile – Korean kids studying BOTH Japanese and English) going all south-central (Korea) on they bad selves.
Friday, March 28, 2008
Back In The Saddle Again
Aaah.. it doesn’t take much getting better to feel better. Got up this morning, did my normal morning things and headed up to my Computer Science class for which I was massively unprepared. Got there early so I could buy the student book that I had lost but, alas, the bookstore was out of it. Still, they said they would have it by the time I got out of my first class and I took that as a good omen. Even better, as usual half of my Computer Science class had gone missing. This always makes it more fun to teach as with a handful of students I get a better vibe (better kibun?) and I can spend more time with the ones who really aren’t getting it. Class went splendidly and I talked to the kid who spent high-school in 
Went to the bookstore and the book was in. Went to the Post Office and paid my bills; 85K which is not as bad as it could have been and still leaves me well within my projected budget for this month.
Headed over to the cafeteria for my healthy Korean lunch and pondered that eternal question. If you’re having Kimchi rice, why do you also need a bowl of Kimchi? Shouldn’t you also then need a bowl of rice?
door to my CS class. Let’s just say that Korea isn’t going to go for any of that pansy “25 feet from a door” smoking prohibition thing.
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