Learning and Drinking

Today was all about learnin shit… Got up at 7:30. This not drinking so much is alarming because it gives you so much spare time. Took a walk around the neighborhood, came back and showered and then headed up to the training which was informative and brief and packed with breaks (e.g. the 1.5 hour lunch). I spent most of my time during the breaks on IM or surfing the net. Then, after a little walk occasioned by my getting hopelessly lost, I got home and studied the only syllabus I have. Also the textbook, which is, I think, common to many of the classes. A lot of “make-work” in the workbook, so I will have to sort out what is useful. Gave in and ordered internet access, though I know I will regret this as it will chew up time I should be working.

The great Korean working man comes to hook me up on Saturday and, unreasonably, they expect you to stay home for an entire 1 HOUR window of time!!! SBC could take a lesson from this, although I suppose it is presumptuous of me to say this before I actually see the guy at my house.

As I write this I sit in the bar waiting for the Weekly Social Event to convene. I was bored at home, so came up early. The waitress won’t serve me til someone else shows up. No matter how much you drink? In Korea you’re only a drunk if you do it alone.

If I weren’t such a solo drinker I’d love this country.

Had an ugly moment when my FedEx tracking revealed my ‘library’ of books had been sent back from Incheon to Memphis. But by the time I was out of my training the Wayguk ‘handler’ had already received a call from FedEx and I think everything is sorted out. Apparently an estimated valuation over $100.00 automatically invokes tariffs in Korea, unless your package is in a protected category like used clothing or books.

Yeah, books, the very thing I had shipped, a fact that was advertised on the top of the bill of handling. My guess is that the guy who received this in Incheon could read US numbers and not read US language. Thus he rejected it for valuation.

The good news is that it seems likely that the books are on their way back to me, and I will check this out as soon as I get up to training today.

The Drinking Expedition was interesting, but probably not safe to post here. Anyone who wants to get weakly "Mean Emails" may do so by emailing me at rwellor@spunangel.com and the bile will follow.

Instructional Schedule is Niiiiice..

I lucked out on my schedule... there are currently NO Children's or High School Classes in the thing (though, since I need to pick up a class, there most assuredly will be).

Monday from 1:30 to 3:00 I have International Management

Tuesday from 7 to 9 I have Academic Writing (this is sweet because it is not conversation and will translate better to the States. Probably homework to grade, but so what?)

Wendesday from 9:00 to 10:30 I have International Management

Thursday is my big day from 10:00 to 11:30 I have Computer Science; From 3:00 to 4:30 International Students from Japan; From 7:00 to 9:00 I have Academic Writing

Friday from 1:00 to 2:30 I have International Students from Japan

No early Monday, no late Friday, probably only one class with kiddies (to be added) and one class that isn't just conversation.

That's really about all I could have asked for at this point.

Settling In

Remember how some of you all laughed at my notion that I could trade grades for sex?

Well I already have!

Unfortunately, it was with my faculty evalutor.

And he's big!

Actually, today was all about settling in.

A bit of clever thinking and a bit of experimenting and I have figured out how to make the Ondol floors work in this apartment. This is a welcome thing, since last night was quite cold. Got up and headed up the hill to BPU and a meeting with my intake dude. Some paperwork, met a guy named Zeke, a guy named John and a guy who loudly announced that he was Republican and interspersed good advice with blowhardiness.

Got a call from my mentor and we arranged lunch. He is Canadian, married to a Russian woman. Highly entertaining and, blessedly, possessed of a car. He passed along a lot of wisdom I already had, but also some valuable stuff and since he had the car he toured me around the city and we picked up many things that would have been far too awkward for me to get to all at once on foot or bus. He drove like a Korean and said it was the only way to drive. He also pointed out the intense tinting on his windows and said a white driver pretty much had to have it, because if a Korean driver saw a white head behind a wheel they a) assumed you couldn’t drive and, b) drove even more aggressively.

Although the latter sounded impossible to me, I accepted it because the other parts made sense.

Then it was off to the PC Bang to chat to the OAF and home to organize alla the stuffs I had purchased. This was good to get done before training starts tomorrow. I did forget to bring my FedEx tracking number, so I don’t know where my “library” is on its way to Korea.

I now sit in a computer lab, awatiting my training. It seems that Woo Song may have me in mind to do some recruiting on account of my winning personality, rugged good looks, and we.. actually.. technology skills....

A horrible Plot Revealed!

This whole “teaching English in Korea” thing is the wily little Korean fockers’ way to get back at me for the Korean war. The ratbastards left me to die, naked, in the cold, without food!

Perhaps I should go back to where I left off last time…

I got up after the snowy night (lame picture taken out of the hotel window inserted for your viewing pleasure) after a night during which I woke up at three KST (Kimchi Standard Time) and IM’d with MAF for a while and then woke up again at five or so. Dorked around the hotel (et me another Korean sammich) and headed to Incheon at 11 or so. A boring 3 hour ride down to Daejeon on which I snapped that picture of the flats between Incheon airport and Incheon City. One of the ugliest stretches of land I’ve ever seen and between the mist and the smog it looked even creepier.

Got to the bus station, called Nick, and within moments was being whisked to BPU. Some of you may have seen the map of BPU and if you have, it is accurate. In what it does portray. What it doesn’t portray is that the city also runs up to, and in-between the buildings and areas of the college.

They quickly ran me down to my place, said about 5 words and then quickly scuttled away like the vicious, uncaring crustaceans* they are. They wanted out before I realized that the place was cold enough for my breath to condense and when they said they would bring me the manual for the heater, “tomorrow” that meant there would be no heat today. That and there were no beddings. They had warned of that, however, and I had brought some limited stuff.

The pictures of the place are interspersed here. I was a bit confused that there was no washing machine as had been promised, but I was excited, so I overlooked that.

No, really, I overlooked it. Take a look at the bathroom picture and note the thing in the far corner. That’s the washing machine (I had taken if for the on-demand water heater this place has stashed somewhere – like many Korean apartments you have to tell the heater to turn on before you do dishes or shower. This should be interesting in the morning.).

I ran out to see the neighborhood. Found a barber. Also found a PC Bang and IM’d the OAF – there is no internet in the apartment, so I may be dependent on the PC Bang until I get my office hours. I don’t think I intend to get internet at home, since it had become a kind of TV version 2.1 for me. Also found a biggish store for a Korean neighborhood and bought a pot, some ramen and udong noodles, and some toilet paper. I have, I guess, the beginnings of my household affairs.

Tonight I have been heating the place with the stove burners and snatched the mattress into the living room. I noticed that the drapes were blowing in and out with the wind, so I have them battened down with my empty suitcases and a jacket. I can see there will be some weatherproofing to be done here. I think the Koreans looked at my picture and thought, “The fat one might survive apartment 301. If not, he fertilizes much cabbage.”

The stove has the place up to a toasty 60 degrees (NOT in the bedroom or bathroom, which are still frigid) and the spicy Udong Noodles have had a similar effect on my stomach. It’s about to be 8 here, which was my ‘break the time-shift goal’ and I expect to be asleep soon. The upstairs neighbors have come home, and while I can hear them, it is nothing major (yet!). Tomorrow I have to drop by the office, and then on Thursday our orientation begins. Monday is classes. Not much time. I still need to figure out how to get a bank account and cell-phone. I guess I’ll email my mentor tomorrow.

For now I am just struggling to stay awake long enough to try to get through the night with only one unwanted wake-up call.

Nice.. I just went to take a pre-bed slash and my urine steamed like a power plant!

*What's the difference between three Koreans under a steam roller and a lobster........

Travail-ing....

This flight is ungodly long.. I have already watched Raging Bull (very slow and stupid – I’m not sure why people rave about it the way they do) and The 3:10 to Yuma (idiotically improbable but also high-level fun). In between I watched 25 minutes of Two and A Half Men as well as another 25 of Everybody Loves Raymond and wondered why I ever liked them. Stop watching TV for a year and sit-coms look entirely ridiculous and contrived.

I booked through Delta, but the flight is Korean Airlines so the food is good and the service appropriately subservient. It was somewhere around my second trip to the bathroom that I realized that I wouldn’t be seeing anyone for a very long time. This hits hardest with the OAF of course and I’m a bit bewildered about what I am supposed to do after work Miss her, I suppose. Just some mundane and predictable moments of doubt before I go back to concentrating on the things I am going to do, rather than the things I will miss. A 12 hour plane-flight is an excellent opportunity for navel-gazing, and I’m sure I will get over it once I’m on the ground and trying to get to the hotel. I did exchange my money at SFO, so at least I won’t have to go through that at Incheon. I will, however, have a sore butt, since it is already griping about the 8 hours or so we have traveled.

The window-shades are drawn in the cabin, but there are enough obnoxious Indian kids so that some are in a constant state of flux. It’s daytime out there and will be when I land. Something like 17 or 18 hours of daylight. I’m in some kind of science fiction story gone wrong.

The flight is, duh, mainly Koreans. I saw about three other Wayguk and a sprinkling of Indians. In some way I expected more Wayguk, because this would be the time we are coming over, but we’re really just spit in the wind, I guess.

Read an amusing article in the Wall Street Journal about the search for “space-safe” Kimchi. The Soviets are taking a Korean Cosmonaut on their next trip (Actually, I’ve worked with BKF on some news translations on this) and like all Koreans he doesn’t want to be without Kimchi. But Kimchi also contains live cultures, and there is concern that radiation might turn it into something inedible, threatening, or hideously mutated.

Kind of like Kimchi in the first place.

In any case, science has done this fine work and the Korean Cosmonaut will go into space with tins of Kimchi.

Also, in the airport bar I read an article about some trouble in recruiting instructors for Hagwons. It’s at http://koreabeat.com/?p=747 and it seems to indicate that if the OAF does come over here she will not have trouble finding a placement.

Now I’m watching the Skymap on my little screen and getting depressed that we aren’t moving faster. We seem to be stuck above some kind of major Ocean. I feel like the freaking Ancient Mariner, except with all the water I can drink, video, and a computer. So, not so much, really.. Still, we waited on the tarmac for at least 45 minutes due to my bad airplanema (Like Karma, but not in a car) and I’m therefore not sure when we are due.

The hotel should have wireless intarwebs, and I’ll post from it if I can.

And just like that I’m several bad sitcoms and most of one weird movie on, and sitting in the Incheon airport. I forgot how easy it was to go through this place. I was concerned that my prescriptions might be a problem, but then I saw the enormous cattle-chute of “nothing to declare” and the one guy frantically snatching everyone’s declaration forms and I realized I probably could have smuggled as many bricks of dope through as I wanted to. I don’t think I even saw a drug-dog in the whole airport. I did see a buttload (that’s a term expatriates use commonly) of hogwan people waiting to pick up newbies, so I guess they just weren’t on the SFO plane and a lot of planes land there this time of night.

Outside, it is snowing and beautiful. Incheon airport its pretty cool looking to begin with and the snow swirling under the high lamplights makes it seem very noirish.

The shuttle came to pick me up and I was reminded of one of my least favorite things about Korea – the smell old men get when they’ve been chowing down on Kimchi and smoking cigarettes. This was the man who took my bags and gave me a ride to the hotel. Which was nice enough. Korea has more than its share of inexpensive accommodation, although that is largely unbeknownst to the world. The TV, oddly, had 98 channels of static, but there was a wireless net to pick up and so I should be set for browsing. The bathroom is an odd combo of Korean and Western, but everything flushes and why not have two drains in the floor?

I wandered out to pick up some “sandwiches” and something to drink. I think I need to learn how to say “excuse me” and how to understand prices when they are spoken. Tomorrow it is off to Daejeon and my first look at BPU.

Snow at Landfall...

In the Airport ... at the Edge of the World

It's on. Spent last night at Rosotti's Beer garden with BKF, MAK and OAF (BAG has temporarily been named "Overseas Alien Fiancee). This is just the group that should have been there, so it was splendid and I doubt I'll get a cheeseburger quite as greasy as the one's Rosotti's offers once I am in Korea. I'll look, but I doubt I find.

Then off the airport hotel, drinks with the OAF and a teary goodbye this morning ("squish, squish!"). Security lines were minimal and I breezed through, although the TSAs were amused at my backpack of devices. They thought it was amusing I was bringing all those lenses, the video camera, the camera, the computer, and the LCD projector, but didn't have a phone or any keys. Who knows why that is amusing...

It is entirely symbolic of the foresight that I bring to every aspect of my life that I purchased a new battery for the laptop, since the old one just completely coded in the middle of this post. ;-)

I've had my first "What the fuck are you doing, fatboy?" moment and now I sort of cycle between being sad and wondering what awesome shit I'll come across in Daejeon. One night in a hotel in Incheon and then down to my new digs. I managed to squeeze a blanket and sheet into my luggage, so at least I will have something on the first night - apparently this is not provided (though a mat better be or I'll..... I'll, be tired and sore).

Once I'm settled (which is to say, sure I'm staying) I'll start looking for a job for the OAF. And pestering the rest of you about when you're taking your first vacation to lovely Korea. Remember our national motto, "welcome to Korea, please to extrude intestines now."

We're working on it...

really...

Plane Safety..

Catching up, finally, the night before I leave for Korea...

On the plane to visit MSM I took a look at the safety pamphlet and just about hooted up the five 'quick' beers I'd had in the Monkey Bar.

The first three panels demonstrate the care one needs to use in preparing an infant for a water-landing (like anyone is gonna survive that, but whatever).









The good news is that the baby is entertained (possibly dancing), the bad news is that there is more to do to ensure safety...









This is more complicated than changing a diaper and the baby, particularly in panel 5, seems to be looking a bit less thrilled by the procedure.

In truth, the baby's suspicion seems to be justified by panel 6:



In which junior hits the water and "goes to the light."

Hypothermia, it's a bitch for the little ones.

Back for one last time..

Houston is a lovely city to leave, particularly as the night falls. The city spreads far and wide and if, as on the night I left, there are clouds and fog at the horizon, it looks as though the city fades into the edge of the world. The lights are scattered between the substantial tracts and sets of trees in the city (Downtown is far behind you as you head out of GWB Houston airport) and even if you had no fun at all in the town, you feel a sense of false nostalgia.

Then you climb above the clouds, look out towards the amber and sere sunset which you plane is futilely chasing, and Houston is blessedly forgotten.

When I arrive Big City is pissing down rain and I have a lot to do in the days I have left here….Overcoming the big beer spill of ought-eight, for one thing. An entire beer.. dead center on my bed. siiiiiiiiigh

Where the A.C.'s cold, and the girls still strip

I'm going back to Cali...

The trip out began uneventfully, if slowly. Coffee and chat with the parents, getting BAX onto an IM client so we can chat when I’m in the (blood-hemorrhage) soup. A quick trip to Brownsville which has what must be close to the world’s smallest “international” airport. It has recently acquired another gate, which puts it up to 2.5 gates in total. My guess is they are never used at the same time.

The airport has a lovely bar, but it is outside of the “secured” area, and the secured area also lacks bathrooms. Probably because it is too expensive to build two bathrooms that have carpeted walls – I’m not sure I’d ever seen that before and I’m really not sure if it is hygienic. So I had two quick beers, went to the bathroom, and then through a pretty lax security check. It was the first place in some time that didn’t open my computer to ensure it wasn’t some brilliant kind of bomb.

Also, since my flight was on my original itinerary, I was not “selected by the computer” for the cheap feel out session in the glass booth. The second time I was selected this way (on my ill-fated trip in) was because my flight had been cancelled and therefore I was catching a flight out the next day. The TSA told me this and I wondered how clever a terrorist-mastermind he thought I must be – After all I had gone to all the trouble of making it rain in Houston and having Continental schedule their pilots incorrectly. I must be a kind of super-genius! Alas, I had forgotten my plan and bomb, so here I am, leaving Brownsville again.

Leaving the parents was the closest I have come to realizing what Korea will be like. Sure, I only see them once or twice a year, but I can be there in 5 hours, on the spur of the moment, anytime I want. That’s straight out the window in aa week or so…

It’s also worth noting that within two minutes of BAX getting his IM client, the BAG was gabbing wildly with him, including this classic line about the BAG and I:

“Since Heroic Narrator (that’s me folks) and I have poked each other’s eyes out and don’t see each others flaws, I think we’ll get along just fine.”

Well, I knew it had to be something!

Clownsville has a wireless network, but it blocks blogger, forums, and Internet Messaging. How odd.

Whatever. The plane in from Houston has landed, so I imagine we will be loading as soon as the honeyed peanuts can be restocked..